Posted in Thinkingoutloud

Low Tide

Boastful and bellowing disgust at hope

Carnivorous outlook eating away at the core

Evading the truth

Dating flaws

Magnifying setbacks

Does beauty only appear at high tide?

Is there someone who desires what the ocean retreats from?

Advertisements
Posted in Love

Love Notes 7

Floating on your wave

I daydream with your wit as navigation

The journey eclipses the final stop

Eternity our destination

Crazy over you

Let me find sanity in your arms

Posted in Loss

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome

New lipstick stains on old memories

Carnivorous with your intentions

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars in new places

Dancing alone in the trenches

At war with me, at war with you

Warring with the idea of us

Gorging on the flesh of what should have been

Yet never filled with my lust for vengeance

I seek

Recompense for a shattered heart

Recompense for wasted years

Recompense for “I love you’s’’ that never were

 

So intense these lips of yours

Plumbed and enticing

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars have new faces

My spring in the depth of winter

Cold are your intentions yet my warmth

Is in your blizzard

And as bizarre as this buffoonery bellows

I still love you

As fickle as this frivolity thunders

I’m still chained to my ever changing emotions

Helpless in evading you

Posted in Love

Love Notes 6

love-notes-1-jpg

What my mind can’t grasp

And my dreams will never see

What my voice cannot articulate

And senses can never emulate

Why my heart beats

What my flesh desires

Is embodied in your love

Of Me

Posted in Love

Overvalued Assumptions

over valued assumptions

Am I being punished because of it?

This thing we never speak on

That itch we never touch

That space we seem to share but rarely visit

The silence before the smile we parade in front of each other

Acting like we’re not aware of “It”

That kiss goodbye that’s so much more than a kiss goodbye

Am I being punished because of “it”?

Am I being punished because I choose to accept “it” as fiction?

Yet revel in the joy of your company

Conveniently detaching myself from the fact that

My joy in you fuels your joy in me

Yet we tip toe around would be happiness

Dancing to the sad songs of fear

Chained to our overvalued assumptions

Posted in Thinkingoutloud

Alone Pt 1

The aftermath of a break up is usually the question – Why?

Staring at you like a lost puppy who’s sad that you won’t let it stay.

Upset and confused as to how two grown and most times,

highly educated individuals fowl up at such an extraordinary degree.

All you had to do was just love the one you claim to love

But we all know that that isn’t as easy as it soundsas it looks

You have to disarm nuclear stock piles.

Draft, implement and police the never ending tides of someone else’s emotions.

All this while defend your own feeling just to have a speck of happiness.

And that’s where you and find ourselves at the end of a firing squad.squard

 

It isn’t all bad…. some of us are lucky to find that person who gets our quirkiness.

Loves how different we are and how much we love them.

It’s a beautiful thing this thing called love….but on the flipside

It is better to live your whole life window shopping than to get the Elton John outfit that he never wanted.ejohn That’s too flashy, too expensive and most of all too big to fit our tiny existence.

 

Where we fail is always trying to reach for individuals who make us feel a particular type of way.

You have no genuine interest in that person.

You just like the companionship and the attention.

You just like having someone saying that they love being with you.

Apart from that, there’s nothing tangible or intangible to keep you two together.

So that disconnect becomes the catalyst for the turmoil that is going to descend up your relationship (or the lack there of) like a fat lady at a buffet.

Eating away at everything that you thought was solid in the relationship.

Now you begin to see things for what they are….and most of us see it coming before it happens

“The break up”…break…the part of life that takes away all desire to continue living.

Particularly if you did everything to make it work….well at least you thought you did

Now what?

Now comes the wallowing, trying to come to terms with what just happened, you place these walls around you, insulating yourself from the crap that comes with moving on.

So you stand still waiting on that special person to snap you out of this death grip that rejection has placed on your heart. Dying to belong but too weak to call out.

Wanting to go back but knowing nothing good is going to come out of it….or they just didn’t want you back, either way, you are alone and afraid.afarid

Stumbling through life with a chip on your shoulder – hurt with no Bae in sight.

Just some comfort food, sappy love songs and reruns of your favorite shows you two watched together.

Just a sad and pathetic remnant of your former self, before you got with whomever that idiot was.

Before you lost your voice, when the probability of finding that special someone was vast and all but certain.

Only to find out that it was all an illusion……happily ever after is not a given it takes a lot of hard work and someone who is willing to work that hard with you.

Now you’re alone waiting on that person

Posted in Thinkingoutloud

Rays

images

Inspiration comes from anywhere

Particularly when you are not looking
from something as mundane as dust
or the dew of dawn coming to announce the morning
Captivating with smiles and laughter
A bruised heart and a dark soul
That has been Illuminated by a face on a rare flower
Was so impulsive and inattentive

Yet I recollect an image so vivid

It painted my dark sky with giggles

And my dreams with fluff

Made my despair nonexistent

My trepidation a path

That leads to great depths of discomfort

Or joy beyond what my mind could ever grasp

A tittle wave of beauty and innocence unchained
Thankful that I caught your ray of sunshine

The source is left nameless