Alone Pt 1

The aftermath of a break up is usually the question – Why?

Staring at you like a lost puppy who’s sad that you won’t let it stay.

Upset and confused as to how two grown and most times,

highly educated individuals fowl up at such an extraordinary degree.

All you had to do was just love the one you claim to love

But we all know that that isn’t as easy as it sounds

You have to disarm nuclear stock piles.

Draft, implement and police the never ending tides of someone else’s emotions.

All this while defend your own feeling just to have a speck of happiness.

And that’s where you lose our voice and find ourselves at the end of a firing squad.

 

It isn’t all bad…. some of us are lucky to find that person who gets our quirkiness.

Loves how different we are and how much we love them.

It’s a beautiful thing this thing called love….but on the flipside

It is better to live your whole life window shopping than to get the Elton John outfit that he never wanted. That’s too flashy, too expensive and most of all too big to fit our tiny existence.

 

Where we fail is always trying to reach for individuals who make us feel a particular type of way.

You have no genuine interest in that person.

You just like the companionship and the attention.

You just like having someone saying that they love being with you.

Apart from that, there’s nothing tangible or intangible to keep you two together.

So that disconnect becomes the catalyst for the turmoil that is going to descend up your relationship (or the lack there of) like a fat lady at a buffet.

Eating away at everything that you thought was solid in the relationship.

Now you begin to see things for what they are….and most of us see it coming before it happens

“The break up”……the part of life that takes away all desire to continue living.

Particularly if you did everything to make it work….well at least you thought you did

Now what?

Now comes the wallowing, trying to come to terms with what just happened, you place these walls around you, insulating yourself from the crap that comes with moving on.

So you stand still waiting on that special person to snap you out of this death grip that rejection has placed on your heart. Dying to belong but too weak to call out.

Wanting to go back but knowing nothing good is going to come out of it….or they just didn’t want you back, either way, you are alone and afraid.

Stumbling through life with a chip on your shoulder – hurt with no Bae in sight.

Just some comfort food, sappy love songs and reruns of your favorite shows you two watched together.

Just a sad and pathetic remnant of your former self, before you got with whomever that idiot was.

Before you lost your voice, when the probability of finding that special someone was vast and all but certain.

Only to find out that it was all an illusion……happily ever after is not a given it takes a lot of hard work and someone who is willing to work that hard with you.

Now you’re alone waiting on that person