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Posted in Thinkingoutloud

What Now?

Cursed by the inevitabilities of my indecisions

Too far from what I need

Not close enough to what I want

So I grieve and bleed in silence

Dying by a disease worst than death

Not being able to accept what comes next.

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Posted in Thinkingoutloud

Frost Bitten Stooge

What should I take with me to winter?

The warmth of your cheeks or the ice in your veins?

Through Cold hearts

Flow cold stares

When cruel intentions were small embers crying for life

Everyone of your kisses fuelled its flames

At every touch a chill

At every intersection I assessed this impasse

Masked as a self inflicted wound

Bombarded by over valued assumptions

I caved to the idea of an imminent doom

Trapped in the towers over looking Mauna Loa’s peak

This inferno beneath me is

An inverted sauna

A hypothermic infection

Glued to the depth of her God given blessings

Shrewd yet meticulous in her dissections

My subjugation was short lived

In retrospect my perceived subjugation was a ruse

Plowed to facilitate this cryogenic fluster called a relationship

Asking what I should take with me to winter

Not knowing that I’m already gangrenous

Decaying with the putrid scent of infatuation on my lips

Posted in Thinkingoutloud

Low Tide

Boastful and bellowing disgust at hope

Carnivorous outlook eating away at the core

Evading the truth

Dating flaws

Magnifying setbacks

Does beauty only appear at high tide?

Is there someone who desires what the ocean retreats from?

Posted in Love

Love Notes 7

Floating on your wave

I daydream with your wit as navigation

The journey eclipses the final stop

Eternity our destination

Crazy over you

Let me find sanity in your arms

Posted in Loss

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome

New lipstick stains on old memories

Carnivorous with your intentions

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars in new places

Dancing alone in the trenches

At war with me, at war with you

Warring with the idea of us

Gorging on the flesh of what should have been

Yet never filled with my lust for vengeance

I seek

Recompense for a shattered heart

Recompense for wasted years

Recompense for “I love you’s’’ that never were

 

So intense these lips of yours

Plumbed and enticing

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars have new faces

My spring in the depth of winter

Cold are your intentions yet my warmth

Is in your blizzard

And as bizarre as this buffoonery bellows

I still love you

As fickle as this frivolity thunders

I’m still chained to my ever changing emotions

Helpless in evading you

Posted in Love

Love Notes 6

love-notes-1-jpg

What my mind can’t grasp

And my dreams will never see

What my voice cannot articulate

And senses can never emulate

Why my heart beats

What my flesh desires

Is embodied in your love

Of Me

Posted in Love

Overvalued Assumptions

over valued assumptions

Am I being punished because of it?

This thing we never speak on

That itch we never touch

That space we seem to share but rarely visit

The silence before the smile we parade in front of each other

Acting like we’re not aware of “It”

That kiss goodbye that’s so much more than a kiss goodbye

Am I being punished because of “it”?

Am I being punished because I choose to accept “it” as fiction?

Yet revel in the joy of your company

Conveniently detaching myself from the fact that

My joy in you fuels your joy in me

Yet we tip toe around would be happiness

Dancing to the sad songs of fear

Chained to our overvalued assumptions