Posted in Loss

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome

New lipstick stains on old memories

Carnivorous with your intentions

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars in new places

Dancing alone in the trenches

At war with me, at war with you

Warring with the idea of us

Gorging on the flesh of what should have been

Yet never filled with my lust for vengeance

I seek

Recompense for a shattered heart

Recompense for wasted years

Recompense for “I love you’s’’ that never were


So intense these lips of yours

Plumbed and enticing

Helpless in evading you

Chained to my ever changing emotions

Old scars have new faces

My spring in the depth of winter

Cold are your intentions yet my warmth

Is in your blizzard

And as bizarre as this buffoonery bellows

I still love you

As fickle as this frivolity thunders

I’m still chained to my ever changing emotions

Helpless in evading you

Posted in Loss, Love

So Gone

I’m physically holding you in my arms
And can feel the distance between us
You marooned me on this island
Close enough for your comfort
Just far enough to evade my touch
Saying all the right things to keep me here
Doing everything else to get me to leave
Enjoying the sunset without me
Meanwhile I’m seating here on your couch
chained to your scent
Regretting that I let my guard down.
Now I hate sunsets

Posted in Loss

The Parting Gift


Been meaning to touch you

With your finger prints on foreign soil

I’m unable to trust you

Why lie to me?

Your reply only confirms this sigh between your whispers

Nourishing off this distance between us

Alone again I grow cold of intangibles

Need something to hold on to

Give me a reason to breathe life into the idea of wanting you

Give me a reason to stay

Deaf, dumb, blind and dismayed

Where infatuation meets madness

Where the lines of love turn grey

Where I died to have you see me in the light that I bathed you with

A cold kiss and a cold heart

What a lovely parting gift

Posted in Loss

I Dream Of Summer


Mindless frolics debating the paths our hearts should travel

Then a touch becomes a prison

Wondering off to lands uncharted

Peach pony tails impair ones vision

Found myself counting the strands of her hair

No concern for the sum of the total

I knew the task could take forever

Wanted forever to be the destination

Consorting with great expectations the reach of her smile

Acquainting my hands with the folds of her hips

Denying my head a moment to inquire

The magnitude of the fall from the summit of her lips

Jet black sand and roaring waves

Ice cold winds that drowned me

Waited till the moon hit the horizon

Confused as to why love never found me

Back to a weary world walking with a dead black heart

The light of an approaching summer gone

Assumptions of what could be is now gutted and torn apart

Yet your beauty engraved on my pupil can never be undone

I still dream of summer

But only when the dead of winter sings

The only time I dear to bother

The first sign of falling autumn leaves

Posted in Loss

Say Goodbye


  Reaching for something you can never touch

Life is too short to be waiting on a dream

Isn’t there something that need to be done?

Why are you still drifting down procrastination’s stream?

Do you enjoy this – heart wrenching jolt of despair?

This pit of dismay

Thoughts of what could have been

You endeavor to stay

The inevitable outcome a loss

Gazing back at the burning castle with shock

You’re bleeding love unwanted

Said the immoveable object to the unstoppable force

You cannot have your desires at your feet

Nor on the tip of your lips or pressed against your cheek

Let the dream be just that

Wake up from your slumber

Say hello to new horizons

Let reality become your new lover

Posted in Loss


Why is my heart indigo?

What could have been became what could have been

All else failed and crimson became me

Was not acquainted with loss before I met you.

Could not imagine this disdain that inhabits me before I lost you

Felt your warmth from her warmth

Kissed your cheeks through her skin

You gave me life then lost yours living me at indigo

princess 2

Living me at this cold empty pit

Darken by my inadequacies

Lathered with my mishaps

Wilting away in the presence of despair

Blooming into indigo

My only comfort your smile

Given to you from her tree

Taken from me to soon

Violets for my princess

And daddy gets indigo